Miffa is da # 1

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Ko Samui (เกาะสมุย): Scam-o-meter (tm) score 89/100

Ko Samui, or just Samui (Ko means island) is located in the southeastern part of Thailand. On the southwestern part you can find Langkawi, where we were past summer (but Langkawi is Malaysian).

What can you expect? Almost the same weather, the same beaches and the same people (visitors). That is right partly, and I will try to explain some details to those of you interested.

Let's start saying that just out of the plane my Scam-o-meter (tm) was flashing deep red when we was forced to que up for a taxi, and the taxi charges us for 8 kms 400 THB, almost two time the amount you pay from Bangkok airport to city center (45 minutes or more including tolls).

The hotel is just something "cool" and it stands over the mediocrity that surrounds it, but do not deserve the money they ask for it, several moon to earth distance is the amount between what you pay and what you get.

Hopefully we're not in Chaweng, the busiest area, the longest beach and a mixed flavour of the worst Ibiza, Mallorca, Salou and Lloret you can imagine.

Plenty of well educated man and semi-naked local and foreigner women night parties really promise the eden type of paradise you were dreaming about. Beer is cheap and you get the usual 2 for 1, 6 x 2, etc.

But READ that if you are visiting this paradise!!! 

  • if you are entering a taxi or any transportation, let the ripper (they will rip you) know how much are you willing to pay (all of them will robb you but more than 300 BHT is severe punishment). Try to walk a little bit bro.
  • if you rent a scooter, do x-ray any scratch and missing part if you don't want to fight or to pay the whole shit several times (some steal their own vehicles to charge you)
  • do not rent any engine operated water vehicle (jet ski, boat, etc) if you don't want to get ripped off with multiple traps (existing damage, etc)
  • If asked, DO NOT EVER let your passport as guarantee, you will become their hostage.
  • As a basic rule, bargain even in McDonalds and say NO to everyone, then think a little and say "may be" and finally say "my friend, i am not stupid, just take it or leave it"
I have not flied a miserable flight in Finnair where food was shit and people nasty to buy a kids beach play set that cost me 3 euros in Europe to pay to times.

And another golden rule " do not eat where you shit" (That means never have lunch or dinner in the hotel)

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